American magnificence ever-present in boots

259

by Nick Lednicky
Eagle Editorial Board

The hollow click of a heel rings down the hallways and intimidation fills the air so thick you could cut it with a knife. You are taller and look a lot better than the slobs that drag their Sperry heels along the ground. You are ready to walk through whatever nature throws at you, and look sophisticated doing it.

What is described above is the perfect piece of footwear: the cowboy boot.

There are three reasons why the cowboy boot is superior to the Sperry boat shoe.

The first and most important reason is that these boots add on to the character of a man, while maintaining a distinct character of their own.

Have you ever seen somebody in a nice pair of cowboy boots and thought, “I bet he is unimportant in managerial or social structure?” No. You have not.

You see a guy in boots and you think, “That is probably my father’s boss’ boss.” The sighting of Sperrys, on the other hand, evokes images of 12 year old boys.

It is almost mysterious as to how the cowboy boot so magically makes a man seem so much more respectable, honest and reliable, but it does. Perhaps, since to wear boots the wearer must wear pants, he instantly looks more formal. Who knows?

Cowboy boots also have an extremely distinct character of their own.

The cowboy boot is unlike any other shoe, and this leads us to the second reason that the cowboy boot reigns superior over lowly Sperrys.

Boots look better than Sperrys.

Boots maintain the elegant aesthetics of a hand-crafted Italian loafer, while presenting a hard-to-achieve uniqueness.

Also, boots come in literally thousands of varieties. There are boots made of sting ray, ostrich or even lizard leather, while Sperrys variety consists of different shades of brown.

Sperrys, contrary to any quality boot, are mass produced. Walking from the science wing to the math wing, a student can probably spot four other pairs of the exact same Sperry.

To make Sperrys unique, you must do something terribly feminine and paint your Sperrys with glittery paint. And even then, this uniquity is a bad one as you stick out like a sore thumb.

The third and final reason as to why boots are superior is practicality. Boots are more appropriate and better-suited for any situation in the whole world, with the exception of being on the family’s boat.

Boots are like a fine bottle of wine; the longer they are around, the better they get, as opposed to Sperrys which fall apart after a few months of real wearing.

An old broken-in pair of boots is a magnificently American sight, and one that instantly evokes feelings of respect.

Boots add to the character of a man while maintaining their own character, are more comfortable, look better and are more practical. These magnificent leather manshoes do nothing but compliment your masculinity, and reign superior in literally every way over their shaftless counterpart.

 

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