Recently an anonymous publisher has come forth with an alternative to our prestigious paper.
Dubbing itself, “The Buzzard,” it purports to be “St. Thomas’ finest news source,” but this joke of a paper deliberately seeks to mislead its readers. Its leading articles feature entirely made-up sources and completely fictitious events.
It deliberately misleads the audience by attempting to poke fun at one of the hallmarks of life at this school, Round-Up. While we enjoy good-natured humor just as much as anyone, there is a very fine line between satirical content and unnecessary, ill-tempered pandering.
In addition to all of this, it has stolen our intellectual property by copying our masthead and leading students to believe it is a legitimate news source when it in fact is nothing other than the first thoughts that popped into the mind of some very bored student crying out for attention.
You wanted us to take notice. We are not amused. We are, in fact, more than a little irritated. To the editor of The Buzzard, consider this a declaration of war.